How to live free from people!
Have you ever been mad at someone because they didn’t do what you thought they should? For example, have you ever been mad at your mom because she didn’t respond they way you expected her to? Or how about your husband? He just isn’t acting the way you expect him too. Ever been hurt by a pastor? What happened? Did he not act the way a pastor is supposed to act?
I am sure we could all answer yes to at least one, if not all, of the examples above. People always seem to let us down. But why is that? are they just not acting the way you expect them too? I believe we all, unfortunately, expect too much out of people. The higher their influence in your life the more you expect from them. Think about it…
Why is it so easy to love babies? I think it’s because we don’t expect anything from them. We know we have to care for their every need. However, move that child into a teenager and we now have a whole new level of expectations for that same child. The Child grows up is now a father, what labels and expectations do we put on him? Oh man, now he is a pastor, now what do we expect?
When the person we expect to act a certain way doesn’t what happens? We get mad? offended? Frustrerated? Now, you have a root of bitterness in growing in your heart. How did that happen?
Of course we hope the people that are in those positions are growing and maturing because they have responsibilities. However, we have to trust God is the one that in control ultimately. What is our role in these situations?
I believe our responsibility is to DO the Word… What does that mean? I am glad you asked.
Quit expecting and just love!
First, if your feelings are hurt don’t talk out of your feelings your mouth can get you into a whole lot of trouble. Proverbs puts it this way “fools find no pleasure in finding understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.” Don’t be a fool. Take your situation to God. Go talk to your Daddy. Tell Him all about it. Not everyone else, He is the only one who can help you. This doesn’t mean you pray your feelings or opinions continually over this person. You simply tell Him and leave it there. Then you have to choose to forgive them according to Colossians 3:13. “Bear with one another and forgive one another if any of you have a grievance agains t someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Next , you have to choose to love them. Love may be the hardest part at first, because love encompasses all of the following according to 1 Corinthians 13. You have to choose to be patient with them. Realize they are on a journey too, they are not perfect. Be kind to them. Be sure not to be jealous of them, congratulate them, be excited for them. Do not brag or act arrogant if they fall or fail. Do not act in a manner that would embarrass them. Don’t manipulate them to get your own way. Don’t use scripture or emotions to make them do what you want. Christ doesn’t do that with you, don’t do it to them. Do not remember all of the times they failed you in the past, then you are counting their wrongs. Love believes in the best of that person. I know it’s hard, but it is possible. If thoughts come that try to remind you of how awful that person was or how much it hurt. Be sure to cast that thought down, capture it and then submit it to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor 10:5). I believe there are many ways to interpret that scripture, but what helps me is the Law of Christ. Love people, Love God. So love them, don’t remember their wrongs… The same way God forgave you.
Now, I have had situations where someone betrayed my trust and I couldn’t get over it. I did everything above but I couldn’t get over it. The next time a similar situation arose, I got angry. To me this was an indicator that I didn’t fully forgive. So I simply asked God “God, when you forgive me you remember it no more, I want to forgive like that. I choose to forgive (insert name) the same way you forgive me. Please take this from me.” The feeling I had after that is hard to put into words. I truly felt as if I was sitting in His hand lifted far from anything that could ever hurt me! Hallelujah. Now when situations come up, its as if it never happened.
I believe there are indicators in our life that let you know if you truly are free from that person or situation. How often do you talk about the situation? Telling others about it. Why are you talking about it? Often we tell others to have them judge that person. You feel justified because now everyone sees how you felt, when really you are slandering and gossiping. If that situation happened years ago, leave it there. You don’t know where that person is on their journey. You are still talking about them and they may be free in Christ, repented and living a great life. And you are running around acting as the accuser of the brethren. You might need to go spend some time with your Daddy. Leave it there.
This will take some practice, but after a while it will become like your original nature. You know, you are a new creation. We just have to renew your mind 😉
I hope this helps! Please feel free to comment or share. If you have any questions or concerns, I am here.